Hello blog, welcome to December. Not sure why exactly I'm keeping this up, but right now I need the distraction. So I recently did something I'm a little ashamed of, nothing important just something it irritates my pride that I've done, though I've totally justified it to myself. Anyway not going to get into it because since I'm the only one reading this and I know about it, I don't need to remind myself x] but UGH. Essentially it comes down to the power books have to forcefully effect you. In countless ways, but particularly 'emotionally'. Because my heart is currently breaking for him. It's ridiculous to feel so strongly for a fictional character. But there you have it. It's painful to read (not just because the writing is utter shite) and the effect it's having on me physically, constricting my breathing for one, is quite powerful. It's nonsensical but such is the force of the imagination. So I'm taking breaks every other line, because this section is killing me. Because it's killing him.

Part of me can't wait to talk to other people about it. Because I can already picture the arguments. I know they'll disagree with me, and my mind is just repeating "Bring it on!" over and over. God, I love a good debate x) and even though I know I'd made up my mind before I'd started reading it, I don't care. Because again I don't want to be associating myself with it in any way, and I still hate it, probably more so now I understand it, but that's exactly why I needed to do this.

When I was in year 12, my current best friend and I were discussing out latest addiction, something we both felt very passionately about. Then my best friend of the time (*sigh* there's something I really don't want to get into. I miss her every day. I hate people.) came over and, overhearing us, loudly declared she hated what it was we were talking about. It was entirely unnecessary and could only have been intended to hurt us, or at least ruffle our feathers. It worked. Slightly outraged and very irritated, we asked if she'd ever actually seen it. Scoffing, our friend replied "No" as if that was irrelevant and frankly ridiculous. I was livid. I could understand that people have different tastes, and that was fine, she didn't need to like everything I liked. But she knew how I felt about this particular subject, so to announce her hatred like that was rude. But to announce when it was based on nothing? Without any attempt to discover for herself, she had *chosen* to dislike something without knowing anything about it? Again. Livid. How dare she.

So when, all these years later, I realised I was doing the same thing, i.e. being judgmental about something before I knew enough about it (although my instincts were correct, and I knew that at the time ;P) I knew that I had to do the research. Find out for myself and make an informed decision. Because otherwise I was being a hypocrite; being as bad as she was.

Anyway, so that's why I've done it, but slightly foolishly I'd already made my feelings on this particular topic known before I started my research xD probably was a bit stupid but tbh I find it funny now. I can see they're going to accuse me of backtracking and rib me for it no end. But I know my motivations. And I'm very relieved I didn't end up totally loving it, like I feared I might! That was one reason I put off the 'research' for so long, because I didn't *want* to like it, but thought I might! Luckily I know my own mind better than I thought I did.

SO. Where was this going. Nowhere XD but that's the beauty of a blog. I'm amazed how much I'm enjoying this! Blogging, I mean. This is a release like nothing else I've discovered yet. I think it's because I'm not worrying about people seeing it. But I've already covered by thoughts on blogging, so I'll leave it here for today. This is already long enough (oh, my powers to ramble know no limitations). But I think I might be back soon! Undoubtedly, there'll be an 'end of the decade' blog before the month is out. The 'Noughties' are nearly over. There's something to talk about. Over and out!